How to argue effectively (long)

[Chuck 97 GTS]

I think some of this might apply to effective smack-talking as well...

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I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an
argument on any topic, against any opponent.People know this and
steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great
respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments.

Simply follow these rules:

*Drink liquor.

Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is
expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing
about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like
grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your
ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you
drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG
VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of
information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights
and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed.
Some may leave the room.

*Make things up.

Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove
that Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the
fact that YOU are underpaid, and you'll be damned if you're going
to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think
Peruvians are underpaid." Say instead: "The average Peruvian's
salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is
$1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross
poverty level."

NOTE: Always make up exact figures.

If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT
up too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T.Moon's
study for the Buford Commission published on May 9,1982. Didn't
you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to
say, "You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom."

*Use meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases.

Memorize this list:

Let me put it this way
In terms of
Vis-a-vis
Per se
As it were
Qua
So to speak

You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as
"Q.E.D.", "e.g.", and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak
Latin,and you don't."

Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want
to say, "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but
they don't have enough money."

You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if
you say, "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers
vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them
more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se,
as it were. Q.E.D."

Only a fool would challenge that statement.

*Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.

You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back
at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:

You're begging the question.
You're being defensive.
Don't compare apples to oranges.
What are your parameters?

This last one is especially valuable. Nobody (other than
engineers and policy wonks) has the vaguest idea what
"parameters" means.

Here's how to use your comebacks:

You say: As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873...
Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865.
You say: You're begging the question.
You say: Liberians, like most Asians...
Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa.
You say: You're being defensive.

*Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler.

This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously
right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly.
Say,"That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might
say," or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."

So that's it. You now know how to out-argue anybody. Do not try
to pull any of this on people who generally carry weapons.

[Clint Sever]

[Tom Welch]

Chuck,

Can I hire you to be my Public Relations Specialist, PLEASE!!!!

Tom


Http://btrviper.com
"If we had some Ham, WE could have some Ham and Eggs, IF we had some Eggs"

[SoCal Rebell]

Where's Peru?

[Chuck 97 GTS]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Tom Welch:
Chuck,

Can I hire you to be my Public Relations Specialist, PLEASE!!!!

Tom


Http://btrviper.com
"If we had some Ham, WE could have some Ham and Eggs, IF we had some Eggs"

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why, certainly! Then I could move away from all this snow! By the way, I've been meaning to ask you where that ham and eggs quote came from. Sounds like a Dan Quayle-ism.

[Tom Welch]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chuck 97 GTS:
Why, certainly! Then I could move away from all this snow! By the way, I've been meaning to ask you where that ham and eggs quote came from. Sounds like a Dan Quayle-ism.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Chuck,

It is one of many old sayings from my dad and grandad! I have several that are maybe a little to strong for the board!
For those who don't understand the ham and eggs gig, its similiar to the champagne taste with beer pocketbook line.

How about this one seeing that im in the typing mood....."She had long black hair..............hanging from her left Nostril, and everytime she sneezed it snapped like a bullwhip!"

tom
Http://btrviper.com

[Chuck 98 RT/10]

Clinton speak is the way to go.

Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa.
You say: That depends on what your definition of is is.

Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865
You say: That depends on what your definition of died is.

The "depends" reply can be applied to every word ever created.

Thank you Bill.

[Trbulnc]

Hey Chuck, Are you QS9000 certified? You aren't running out of spec. for your posted parameters are you?

stephen
M.E.