MOVING SALE, WITH BONUS MEALS !!!

[Bill Pemberton Woodhouse]

MOVING SALE, MOVING SALE,MOVING SALE!!!!!!

As we are in the process of moving out of the Quonset hut ( darn I will miss that old two - holer outhouse , though ) into a new building with over 25 new offices and a second story, we also need to rearrange storage at the dealership. Through the month of June, everyone who flys in to pick up their Viper will be reimbursed up to a total of $400 for airfare. We will still have our great pricing, but with all the moving hassles it will free up our drivers for other items. In addition we will offer the MAP that some of you may remember ( Meal Appreciation Plan ) with some modifications listed below:
1. Yellow Vipers are entitled to a # 2 , 2 Cheeseburger Meal, and you can Supersize.
2. Blue Vipers will be allowed to get a Big Mac Meal, no Supersize, but you have your choice of pie or Mcdonaldland cookies.
3. Red Vipers get a breakfast Burrito, Strawberry Shake, Egg McMuffin, and the salad of your choice.
4. Striped cars will also be eligible for a $5 coupon book, so you can take out( in your new SNAKE ) your favorite lady/gentleman when you get home!

 

[2charmed]

UH OH!!!

It seems Bill is on the bottle again.

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(j/k bill)

Good luck with your move!

 

[Steve-Indy]

Dear Mr. Pemberton,

As a relatively "new customer" (not meant to imply lack of age or milage on MY part) to your fine dealership, I would hope that you could clarify a point or two for this old, southern indiana hill-billy: are we limited to buying just one Viper at your dealership, thereby keeping your food-for-free costs low? and, if we do fly in, is it more than 300+ miles to the nearest airport? ( Blair, Where???).

Finally, I would like thank you for posting this "opportunity" on the board instead of via e-mail to my Wife, as she DOES NOT need any excuses or further encouragement in the area of Viper purchases...(and especially not using the word "sale")...as she has NEVER met or seen a Viper that she did not "NEED".

Sincerely, Steve-the-poor

 

[Jason-Middle Tennessee]

Darn it Bill, I'd bought one if you had a chicken sandwich combo on there. Oh well your loss

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[Bill Pemberton Woodhouse]

Very fair question Mr. Southern Indiana Hillbilly Gentleman , sir. We are only 20 miles from the Omaha airport and we will have a poor Kneebraska Hillbilly there to pick you up, to keep your costs down. It takes about 35 minutes ( max ) to get here and that will give you time to think about what meal you would like. If you decide to buy 2 ( Vipers that is ), we can probably Supersize and snag Woodhouse for dessert.

PS - If your lovely wife brings you along, we will also make sure you get a Kiddie Meal with a free prize.

 

[Matt M PA]

Bill...since I am one of those that never throw anything away...I just came across an envelope dated 12/20/99, with a letter inside covering the details of the Woodhouse CAMP program. Customer Appreciation Meal Policy. I knew I wasn't going nuts!!!

 

[gtsviper]

Pemberton... Every time I go into a restaraunt with a new menu, I find higher prices. Now that you are moving to a real ofc AND changing the menu are you going to become like all the rest of the Dodge Dealers? I better get a firm quote on my 03! BTW...is it in yet? (The car).

 

[Matt M PA]

Geez Bill..did you change the program? I thought it was the CAMP...the Customer Appreciation Meal Program!

 

[Bill Pemberton Woodhouse]

Matt, you are probably thinking of the " **** " program, which we did at Halloween a few years back ( Halloween Utilization Meal Program ). We gave out all the candy Viper Owner's sent us , since Bob went on an austerity move and quit the MAP program to keep costs down,ha.

Dear Mr. GTS,

We will still give that " Value Deal " with a "Value Meal," so prices won't be going up any. We still have low country overhead and with the sales increasing to 500 a month, we actually were very inefficient in this old shack. Oh, but thanks for asking...............

 

[Bob Woodhouse]

Gentlemen, EEEGAD, I leave town for a couple days and come back to find Bill Pemberton (warmly referred to as "**** pemberton") has escalated the operating costs of the dealership by over 1000%. This FREE LUNCH program is killing me. Last year, as many of you remember, was the tootpick and water standard with some upgrades available as defined by Chris Marshall of KC. Now the ground floor is in the meat and bun category. Don't let this worry you as a potential customer. I can payroll deduct any of this cost over-run to Bill's pay check, assuming he gets one after this.

 

[Bill Pemberton Woodhouse]

Dear Boss,

Since I am now the " ****, " I think I would like your last year's offer of a tootpick and water. Love them tootpicks.

 

[Janni]

Career Limiting Move - Definition -

Publicly pointing out your boss's poor spelling / typing skills - probably when you are supposed to be working.

Gotta love that guy Pemberton - what a risk taker.

Go easy on him, Bob, he can't help it.......

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[JonB]

If you get the FREE VCA MEMBERSHIP with a used Viper, do you still get the applicable Free-meal-deal?

And what about frequent-flier miles? That $400 plane ticket gets you at least 1000 of those !

Yeah thats it! Memberships, Miles, Burgers and Fries !

And a tootpick afterwards. (When I toot I dont usually need a pick!)

Come to think of it, this whole D A M N thread probably needs to be gestapoed over to SUPPLIER SPECIAL OBLIVION section........